Tank Inspiration

Date: 7/19/14

Time: 11:00pm

Inspiration: My tank top; It read: “Keep your head up high beautiful”

Everything used to be one big blur…I knew that I wanted to make an impact on the world but had no idea where to start.  Then it dawned on me, that in order to make a difference, it was imperative that I start with myself first – and so my journey began. 

For starters, I had to lose those things that were hindering me from moving forward.  Perhaps, you may be holding on to these things too, but I am here to let you know that it is time…time to let them go!

Doubt and fear were the first to get the boot (steel toes needed lol).   I had to get rid of the idea that I couldn’t/shouldn’t.  There were way too many opportunities out here that I passed up as a result of holding on to these twins.  Today, as I press forward, not really sure of how I will reach my goals, I believe wholeheartedly that as long as I work towards them, the way will be made.  The key is to keep the dream in my heart and keep the faith, no matter the time or process it takes.

Next, I had to get rid of low self-esteem and its cousins, low (or no) confidence and negative body image.  I read in my bible that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and once I got that down in my heart, life has made so much more sense.  I thought at one time that happiness would come once I reached a certain weight – and boy was I wrong!  The day that I fell in love with me, the heavens opened up.  It took some years but my daily prayer was: “God, help me to see what you see.”  In time  my prayer was answered!  Although I don’t remember the exact day that it happened, I just know that things were different.  I wasn’t the same person anymore and I had gotten a sweet taste of freedom!  I can smile on the outside, because my heart is truly glad.  I am happy with me…to be me…and I love me, unconditionally and unapologetically. 

I also had to get rid of unforgiveness.  It did not mean I act as if hurtful things didn’t happen, but to forgive those people.  Truth is, they had moved on with their lives and here I was still here “holding the bag”.  It took some time but I was finally able to release the hurtful things of the past.  All along I thought forgiving someone was a sign of weakness.  In actuality, forgiving those who hurt you is strength at its finest!  Moreover, I also had to forgive myself for choosing to live beneath my privilege.

Now that I am free, it has become my mission to spread messages of self-love everywhere I go.  I want every young lady out there to know (and walk in) the power that they have.  Loving yourself will help you avoid so many pitfalls in life because you will not only know your self-worth but value it as well.  As I stated in my pageant speech, “It is written that when you have been strengthened now you go and strengthen your brother.  [Now that I am] crowned Ms. Full Figured USA 2014, I will strengthen my sisters!”

And that ladies and gentleman,  is how I plan to leave my mark on the world!!! 

Nijah J.

Here's a pic of me wearing the tank.
It was purchased at the $10 Spot for $7