Q: Why am I still single?

A few years ago, one of the church mothers took me by the hands and said, “Baby, befo’ God sends you the real one, the devil gone send you an impostor.”  Then she prayed with me.  I must say that when we parted ways, I left puzzled, wondering to myself who in the world she could be talking about.  At the time, I wasn't interested in anyone and as far as I knew, no one was interested in me.  Lo and behold, a year later, a guy asked me to be in a relationship with him.  On the surface, he seemed like a decent gent.  However, in getting to know him, I found that our personalities clashed.  He was extremely bossy and male chauvinistic- definite deal breakers! (I won’t take this blog post as an opportunity to bash him, because I still think he is a good guy, just not for me.)

I say all that to say, if I wanted to be in a relationship, I could be…but at what price?  He already showed me who he was, so why would I want to sacrifice being happily single just to say “I gotta man?!” *said like the girl from the Positive K video, lol* In all seriousness, one could imagine that being in a relationship with him would only exacerbate the situation and result in me being unhappy, annoyed and full of regret all in the name of being “wifed up”.  Frankly, hooking up with someone is the easy part but being in a healthy relationship is much better - and worth waiting for. 

Most often people equate being single with being lonely and that is so far from the truth.  Since I have found my purpose, being single is satisfying.  When the right person comes along - and he will- I'll know and be willing to share my fabulous life with him! *insert smile*  It's all in God’s timing.  Right now, I am joyously pursuing my dreams so my future husband will find me working - not pining over him.  When God sees fit, our paths will cross.  #dontbelievemejustwatch

Relationship Q&A

If someone had asked me this question a few years ago, the first thing that would've come to mind would have been something about appearance.  Since I have matured, I realized that looks are good but they can’t and won’t keep a relationship together.  Of course he and I must have a physical attraction, but it isn't at the top of the list.  Why?  People change.  They lose and gain weight.  They change their hair color, cut it down and also grow it out.  Again, these are things that are subject to change at any given moment.  Essentially, what I need to know is where his heart lies – something that you will NOT find by getting caught up on his 6 pack and chiseled chest.  Don't get me wrong, I'm pro health too, but being handsome does not give me any information about the inner man.

So here’s my list of the top 5 things that are most important to me in a future mate:

1.       We must be on the same page spiritually.  We might not attend the same church but as long as we worship the same God.

2.       Character- How does he act when around family/friends?  Kind, considerate, funny etc.  Can I be myself around him?  Are we friends?  Is he emotionally available?

3.       Does he know his purpose?

4.       His words are followed by actions that are consistent

5.       How does he handle his money?

So there we have it peeps!  *Keep in mind that numbers 2-5 are equally important, therefore I did not write them in any particular order.*  Feel free to let me know what you think and/or what you would add to this list!